Random World Redux: The Other Monsters

Some further thoughts on the monster lore I'm reusing from the Random World.

Aberrations, The Man-Made Monsters

Pathfinder's Otyugh

The successor to the random world is fairly low on Lovecraftian inspiration, as I've long lamented that Lovecraftian concepts and ideas are somewhat overused especially when it come to the Old Ones and all manners of tentacle monsters. That said, what is a good dungeon without a horribly, slimy beast of the chthonian depths? What about hideous crossbreed abominations of nature created by wicked sorcerers for their experiments or amusement? Surely there is room for this, right? Well yes, there is!

Call them 'Aberrations' or 'Monstrosities' but it doesn't matter. These creatures are born of magic gone amok, especially magic which is used to warp flesh and combine species in ways which are just plain ungodly. There are countless evil wizards in history who experiment with some truly disgusting things in an attempt to breed a new type of minion or monster. While Orcs are a particularly stable breed, not all experiments are as successful. Those which start from warping an already-living creature in particular can produce some particularly unstable and monstrous creatures which often retain the ability to breed with their kind. As a result, some horrific experiments have bred true, at least in some limited capacity. Many of these creatures produce stillbirths or, worse, offspring's which are even more warped and foul than them.

Undead, the Cast Off Shells

Wight from D&D 3rd edition.

Undead occupy an odd place in my head. I absolutely adore them for all the obvious horror they induce and there is no denying they are among the most simplistically gruesome monsters that exist. However, in the previous and original incarnation of the Rand World, Undead were established to have a certain level of rarity. This is because the modern conception of the Undead in fantasy has increasingly been tainted by many elements 20th century of pop culture as opposed to more proper folkloric roots. In particular, most Undead in D&D tend to have the ability to turn those they kill into another of their kind. While this does have some basis, the modern concept is heavily rooted in American cinema's modern flesh-eating zombie and in modern Vampires.

An undead is never a complete being. If they were, they wouldn't be undead. While this may bring to mind the lack of a body of a ghostly undead or lack of mind of the baseline zombie, it is a bit more complex than that or a lack of a pulse. What birth the True Undead, as opposed to the Animated Undead create by spells such as basic zombies and skeletons, must be a confluence of events. Undead are born of a particularly troubled minds and, often, either sudden or particularly tragic deaths. These creatures are generally defined by an all consuming need or desire, such as needing blood, flesh or the warmth of the living to use some basic examples. Others are controlled by the need or urge to either complete a task or prevent someone from completing a task which invariably ties into the circumstances of the Undead's death. The disturbing thing about the Undead is that what animate them isn't really, entirely the person's soul even if theological debates still rages on the matter. However, by itself a person doesn't simply have the power to transcend the veil between life and death, as such power is obviously beyond the ability of mortals. Thus while the circumstances of the creation of a True Undead is from human matters, there exist dark, unformed powers within the world and beyond it which provide the spark of unlife. While the creature was once a living human, its corpse or materialized spirit has become the vessel for a greater (well, arguably, a lower) power. Some believe that Undead which remain in the world for a long time eventually fade and become nothing but spirits, hollowed out of their original humanity and join the ranks of creatures such as goblin-spirits and demons.

Some Undead, however, were never human to begin with. Or, rather, their bodies were human but not the mind existing inside their rotting form. If most Undead are the discarded but still animate husk of humans slowly hollowed out of their true selves, some are more unfortunate. With the bodies left somewhere unhallowed or forgotten (but the mind/soul without much to be angry about and meeting its fate), the body become a vessel to darker powers which animate the corpse and warps it into some monstrous goblin-ghost or demonic ghoul with truly disturbing forms and/or powers. These creatures may attempt to fake being the person the corpse belonged to but they not. They are an alien intellect driven by some truly vile thoughts.

Dragons, the Old Serpent Beasts of Chaos

Dragonlord Kolaghan by Jaime Jones

Dragons are a particularly ancient breed of chimeric monsters born of chaos, or at least this is generally an agreed upon understanding of what they are. While there are many pseudo reptilian or serpentine beasts upon the world, the True Dragons are a particularly ancient breed of monsters spawned from primordial chaos. Common traits include great size, wings (or, sometimes, a stranger mean of flight), usually poisonous blood and/or breath and the ability to exhale chaotic energies often in the form of some elemental breath weapon. They are intelligent creatures for the most part, but they tend toward being extremely violent and destructive as well as greedy.

No one has ever seen a young dragon, at least not in the current age. It is speculated that all Dragons either were created from the same or were born into the world in some cycle. Others speculate that dragon reproductive cycle, if it exist, is extremely long and complex. Ultimate it is unknown how or if dragon breed but ancient text do refer to smaller or younger, foolhardy dragons being slain by the mythical founders of nations and similar figures. Other truly ancient text refer to ancient dragons as being young in their time, meaning they do apparently age and grow to some extent. Perhaps it is that the last generation of Dragons has already been born and no future generation can exist or ever will exist, with the youngest of dragons being already several centuries old or more with truly ancient dragons being extremely rare beings who have seen the very birth of the world and now sleep at the bottom of its ocean or in ancient caves or volcanoes. Or perhaps they are all dead safe the youngest and weakest of their kind.

When roused from their slumber, dragons are often little more than flying demons of fire and fury. Few artistic depiction of them truly convey their terrifying neither, too: the many jagged horns or crests upon their heads, their amalgam bodies with traits of a variety of beasts, covered in the scales of a snake, crocodile or shark. Their breath is so foul it can kill a man. Their stomach has enough room to swallow entire herds and, indeed, dragons can even often dislocate their jaws like a serpent to swallow large animals or even other dragons, some say. The eldest of dragons can flap their wings and call upon fire storms, acid rains, thunder and rain which tears away at cities or hailstorms in the middle of a hot summer.

A post where I rip off someone's post and mashup some tabletop RPG with bad(?) anime stuff

One thing I sometimes like to joke and self mock is being a not-so-closeted weaboo, albeit one who generally tries to keep his anime tastes separate from the general fantasy focus of the blog. However Gundobad Games wrote a pretty amusing post on some unholy setting/games mashup. This got me thinking about my own tables for unholy mashups. Some of these are random tables, some are observations and most of it is quite incoherent since 'anime' is not a genre, its a medium. Albeit one steeped in a variety of its own unique twist on certain genres and others mostly unique to it.

I know posting this one on the OSR MeWe will give people cancer. I'm sorry. Except not really.

Of course, making things anime-like requires more than just genre-blending. At a face value, if described in their simplest terms quite a few anime appear to be much more basic than they really are. The truth, in my opinion at least, is that what makes anime as amazing (and as reviled) is how so many of them have such utterly corny or balls to the walls insane presentation that floors people. Sometimes, that presentation isn't always obvious and just how insane, corny, bizarre or flat out trashy/raunchy can vary immensely from show to show. Some can be legitimately amazing works of fiction deserving of praise, others are utterly terrible and corny. Most exist somewhere in the middle and just become weirder from there. Take the classic shonen fighting manga and grandfather to the genre's entire modern formula, Dragon Ball. It's simply, at least initially, a retelling of Journey to the West but somehow its in a world which is bizarre and anachronistic, where advanced technology coexist with humble farmlands. Where the King of the World is a dog-man and talking, shapeshifting pig-men exist. And then it spirals into wuxia and space opera territory. Anime and manga often laughs at the idea of genre conventions.

Option A: Isekai

The cancerous genre which overtook anime and is only just slowly, maybe, ever so slightly dying down. Now as a concept, what is labelled as Isekai is a perfectly valid concept for a fantasy game and has roots in older works such as Alice In Wonderland, the John Carter novels or even Poul Anderson's Three Hearts and Three Lions. However, the modern 'Isekai' genre which is total ass cancer was born of the boom in popularity of Light Novels. They are cheap, the barrier to entry is low and the lowly trash of this world will eat up that garbage like I eat a box of Cheez-It when depressed. Isekai is simply, overall as a genre, the transposition of someone from one world to another, generally our world to a generic fantasy land. As a result here are some settings one could use for Isekai. The second table, called 'Set Up or Modification' combines one or more Isekai trend and/or quirk of its (more often than not crappy) writing to spice up the setting and add a level of anime-ness, for better or for ill.

1d8	Setting/Game	Set Up or Modification
1	D&D Setting: Could be Forgotten Realms, Eberron, Greyhawk or even Athas.	Chosen Hero: The characters (or just one of its a solo game) have been chosen to become great heroes and given powers/tools to help defeat a great evil of said setting. The PC are either really powerful by setting standard or more easily eased into/instantly raised to the higher tiers or levels.
2	Exalted
3	Wolves of God	The Overlord: Like the above, except instead of being heroes the player characters are cast into the role of a great evil which must destroy that world for one reason or another. Alternatively they are just overpowered assholes.
4	Tekumel
5	Talislanta	Bringer of Modernity: For whatever reason, the player characters are allowed and/or encouraged to bring in their knowledge or technology and somehow apply it or they have means to use advanced technology in the setting.
6	Pendragon
7	Legend of the Five Rings	The Waifubait: For some reason, a sizable portion of the cast are now cute girls and lovely women (more of the latter if you don't want jail time), including possibly a few major NPC now gender bent. They are both as cute/sexy as it gets yet somehow retain any badassery and skill of their canon counterpart no matter how implausible their age or gender may be within the setting rules. Reroll on this column and combine. If you rolled Exalted for this one, just increase the amount of waifus instead.
8	Go to your book/PDF dump and start looking for something you'd never expect to run!

Option B: The 'Legally Distinct Dungeon Fantasy' Mashup

This one is more directly in line with Gundobad's post. I call it the 'Legally Distinct Dungeon Fantasy' as a joke but what I really and, obviously, mean is Dungeons & Dragons, Pathfinder, OSR and any and all games which are at least partially derived from the original games designed by Gygax and Arneson, which generally involve the Fighter/Mage/Thief archetypes, a group or 'party', monsters, dungeons, traps (not the anime kind, hopefully! Then again...) and generally a lot of fighting if or when things go sour.

Imagine D&D, but with elements of...
1d8	Genre A	Genre B
1	Fighting Shonen: If you are even vaguely familiar with anime you know this genre all too well as it's one of the most famous. These are your Dragon Ball, One Piece or Naruto. If you’re a bit older, it's Fist of the North star. People fight. A lot. They get stronger to fight more and fight more to get stronger.	Idols
2		Mecha
3	Monster-Hunting Organization: Also a fighting genre, but it generally involves humanity under threat from a specific type/category of monsters, a special organization which fights them and usually a ton of grim secrets. This genre can range in style/genre combination from Neon Genesis Evangelion to God Eater or even, arguably, Attack on Titan.	Slice of Life
4		Magical Girls
5	Death Game: There is a big event, tournament or whatever where the characters are involved (by choice or not) where different individuals or teams of individuals fight each other to the death for a prize. Technically Highlander would count in this category.	Urban Fantasy
6		Pseudo-Historical
7	Magical School: Okay, I honestly HATE this genre but it's so damn common it needs to be put in here. While the word ‘magical’ may imply fantastical elements, technically there are plenty of these which overlap into scifi, cyberpunk and even superheroes. Oh and don't forget to add some harems in there to be as cancerously anime as possible.	Cyberpunk
8		Reroll on this column and combine, ignoring this result. Alternatively reroll on Genre A too, I don't know?

The Result: Magical Dragon Idols & Cybermagical Dungeons

So I made those half-assed tables and tried to see what abominations I could come up with. By themselves many of these results aren't that weird, so keep in mind it required me to stretch the premise by taking time to develop what sort of anime insanity and awful/amazing nonsense could exist under said premise, possibly even character concepts.

In the end, I settled on a single concept. Its stupid.

"Imagine D&D...but with elements of Monster-Hunter Organizations, Idols and Cyberpunk"

Okay this one is kind of easy, but still a bit weird. The thing which immediately just to mind, at least to me, is the Symphogear franchise. In a world combining fantasy and dystopia future, the player characters belong to an organization which hunt down a specific threat to mankind. Now, perhaps the best way for this to go is to go down the darker path that Idols are very corporate and make them an Idol group which is back by a mega corporation or some shady organization with ulterior motives.

In a grim, gray and neon-lit far future world where mankind learned to tap into higher/lower dimensions for near infinite power and technological advancement, bubbly and nice idols exist as a ray of sunshine which bring hope and joy to those living in this gray and gloomy world. Yet under the surface, things go run much deeper. Reality is shattered by the multiple cataclysm which mankind endured and self-inflicted. Thaumaturgic Technology was once so advanced as to functionally make humanity's overlords nearly gods but mankind's greed and despair grew too much and many cataclysm endured. Humanity in the current age is still trying to advance but the government and medias keep a tight lid on the true historical origins of why cities were built upon layers and layers of ruins, why the the few non-arcology forests are cancerous masses of living trees and why dimensional wastelands exist. Beyond the grey and neon-lit cities, the world is a techno-magical wasteland.

The monsters from beyond the veil are drawn to despair and negative emotions, which are naturally plentiful in such a depressing world filled with salarymen with little to live for. And so young girls trained as idols are given the ability to tap into supernatural powers. In between their bubbly antics and idol shows, they repel the darkness just as much as they dive into the cybermagical ruins to recover artifacts so mankind is able to sustain itself and, hopefully rebuild.

Some random thoughts about all this:

• Do the fantasy races exist and, if so how do they fit into the setting? One option is they are similar to the Meta-Humans of Shadowrun and born of human tampering into Thaumaturgic Technology over the centuries.
• Perhaps the fantasy races, being mutants or reincarnation of beings from the 'other side' are the only ones with innate magic of some kind? Perhaps they exist outside the human arcologies. In that case, the idols may in fact be recruited from these changed people and given a new chance at life and luxury (at a price) inside the much safer arcologies in exchange for their services. Its possible some races may exist and be integrated into human society, possibly as elites or in secret. Elves come to mind.
• Perhaps the Magical Girls can hide their true race somehow, if needed? And if such an angle is pursued then each race is suitably redesigned to be more anime-like and this is where the so-called 'bad' races of modern D&D can come in handy. Tiefling are just cute anime people with little Oni horns which tend to produce delinquent idols. Halflings are stuck looking small and cute their entire life, be it as looking underaged or alternatively being shortstacks. Same and more so with Dwarves. If one is degenerate as shit this could easily escalate into monstergirl territory.
• Is there an Idol class everyone must take levels/be a hybrid of? Is it more like a Bard. That doesn't seem all that great when one think about it. Instead perhaps the Idol class is more like a form of singing-focused Paladin, complete with some Idol Code about always being bright, shiny, happy and all that?
• I'm going to hell for writing all this.

Random World Redux: Once Again, Monsters

From 2018 to 2019 I worked on a setting I dubbed the Random World. It started off as a bit of a random experiment, using a randomly generated fantasy setting map and drawing inspiration from the scattering of meaningless name of locales. Over time it evolved as some more concepts were bolted on and expanded. While the so-called Random World is dead as a project, the key ideas of how monsters were to be handled, designed and presented remained in my head and to this day remain my favorite take on the classic monsters of the Monster Manual (and similar books). While definitely not the most original, it is perhaps the take I am most personally happy in terms of my own presentation of these concepts. This is a re-affirmation, expansion and refresh of these previously outlined ideas as well as some new concepts added since.

The Great Unknown and Dark

Art by Alexander Solomin

Greatly detailed setting mythologies were not what I thought about for the random world and this has not changed for any spiritual successor. This successor to the so-called Random World retain the usual flair of basic assumptions one expect of the original Dungeons & Dragons: that the world is a vast place, full of wilderness, monsters, ruins and that civilization exist as scant oasis of civilization. The presence of ruins and long lost artifacts more or less imply an almost post apocalyptic sense, that the world was once this great place which has fallen and/or decayed. Mankind's grip on the world has slipped, allowing the dark and primordial powers to slowly overtake the land.

These powers have many names and are ascribed to many mythologies and folklore but such definition does not truly matter. They are the things in the darkness, the fallen angels, the gods (false, forgotten, old or otherwise) and inscrutable fae. It is the collective host of all powers which range from indifferent to Man to completely anthetical to its nature and civilization. They are creatures of myth and legend and the monsters from beyond this world just as much as they can be restless spirits of ancestral graves and sacred sites. At best, these powers can be appeased or cajoled but never truly tamed. These are powers which Druids and Warlocks make pacts with and while they aren't inherently evil, they are still something which Man see with fear or awe. It is not the power of kind protector gods or ancestral spirits, for that is a different power, a slice of the immortal things which Man has shaped and been shaped by but it is not the same. Not completely, anyway.

Many monsters of this newly conceptualized successor to the Random World are truly unique. While there are some species of monsters which breed true, a capital-M Monster is often a terrifying, semi unique being, some creature of darkness or the wilderness which lurks at the bottom of the lake or hidden in the mist. These creatures are not truly alive (but functionally and mechanically may as well be, obviously). They are twisted things, born of a mimicry of the natural world. The head of a lion, the legs of a crocodile and the wings of a bat while a human head may exist at the tip of its tale as it wail in terror, trying to lure people to it thinking it is someone in danger. Others are moss monsters or rocky terrors, elemental forces given life. These creatures are not truly alive, not truly thinking. They are akin to an interface which unknowable powers exert their will upon the world. Thus, the needs and methods of feeding of a monster might make no sense in a naturalist way of thinking. They are the chimera of myth or the bogeyman stalking in the dark. Consider them, in a sense, closer to the Japanese yokai than some of the monsters of classic Tabletop Fantasy.

Goblins

Art by Gonzalo Kenny

The 'goblin' family is one of the three major 'families' of humanoid monsters of this unnamed, conceptual world. Goblinkind consist of a myriad of strange and bizarre creatures which appear to be vaguely humanoid and akin to people, but only just barely. They embody a side of that-which-is-not-human by being creatures of deceit, trickery, magic and the dark and foul places of the world. Goblins range from spirit-like creatures incarnated in a physical form to the classical, stunted humanoid we would recognize as a traditional goblinoid. Their ranks are further bolstered by all manner of creatures, monsters, bogeymen, pixies, tricksters, witches and hags and more which may appear human or be able to fake humanity but clearly are not and never were. Their realm are deep, dark primordial forests, abandoned ruins, dark caves, giant fungus-realms and strange locations which exist aside from our world, intersecting with it but not truly of it.

Of the supernatural beings, Goblin-kind are generally the weakest in terms of raw physical power and more often than not lacking in size, even if exceptions do exist. As with other supernatural beings their form is a mimicry of the world, even if the form of humans is one which they nearly always incorporate on some level, as most if not all goblins are humanoid. Among the most mortal of goblin-kind are creatures which are almost human, but not quite: perhaps descended of some disgusting admixture of human and inhuman blood or, perhaps, descendant of ancient people who chose not civilization and humanity but rather stayed in the dark and primordial world. These creatures are what one could recognize as akin to Gnomes and Dwarves, as well as Halflings (even if these categories may not exist, they are used as an example). They are short, stunted creatures which produce offspring, age and die but not in a way truly like us human. These creatures do form communities here and there but, as a general rule, tend to dislike outsiders. These are, naturally, the forest home of strange bearded gnomes who cultivate mushrooms or the hidden under city of Dwarves, who mine ever deeper into the earth with every passing day.

Art by Christophe Young

One thing which is not known to humans except perhaps those who have lived amongst goblins or to sages is that while it initially appear that attractive goblins are better innate spellcaster it is actually the opposite: better spellcasters are simply better at reshaping their own nature to reflect their own decadence and egocentric needs to command attention. As such, many ethereal and beautiful 'fae lords' are little more than disgusting goblins under a veneer of beauty. These creatures often oversee courts of lesser goblin-creatures or even other, less understood beings. Others eschew such veneer of beauty and revel in their goblin nature, becoming grotesquely obese goblin kings or wicked hags. While they may act refine or completely insane or even stupid, these creatures are invariably gifted with great and terrible power, as well as a level of intelligence or persuasion few mortals can ever compare to. Never assume their form to be true. Never assume their words to be true. Never assume you have outsmarted 'that dumb goblin'. In fact, when it come to goblins assume very little.

Trolls

Art by Greg Rutkowski

The opposite side of the goblins are the trolls, which include the rank of all manners of hideous brutes, troll, ogres, giants and more. Where goblins are physically lacking but generally tricksters, the trolls are large and powerful but no less magical. Indeed, the magical nature of trolls manifest in the form of their boundless power, strength, durability and even, yes in some cases, regeneration. Where goblins are the shadows in the woods, the vermin in the earth and moonlit magic the trolls are an ancient, mighty and oak or an unbreakable stone. They are creatures of the raging storm and howling winter winds. Troll-kind too stride across the untamed wilderness but they are not subtle creatures. They are wild, powerful, sometimes (but not always!) dim witted and most important of all they are untamed and free. Troll-kind tend to be more solitary, with each troll claiming a territory where it just wander around breaking stuff, eating cattle or maybe just sleeping until they forget to wake up, becoming boulders until accidentally awakened.

Trolls with particularly strong magical abilities do exist and they are called Troll Wyrd. Creatures of chaos, Troll Wyrd tend to be physically bizarre even by troll standard, exhibiting bold colors or truly outrageous mutations. They can be as dumb as a rock or gifted with a truly stunning intellect but generally are plagued by being completely and utterly insane by mortal standards. The magic of troll wyrd is invariably flashy and destructive, with focus on vivid and iconic spell effects such as creating fire, lighting bolts, polymorphing others or stranger effects such as rains of explosive frogs. A few others have more subtle, but no less destructive magic as they have been known to warp fate in some spectacular ways such as making arrows bounce off their skin by sheer accident and then, somehow, spin backward and fly into the eye of whoever shot the arrow! In spite of the danger they represent, many Magic User seek out particularly infamous or gifted Troll Wyrd, as they can sometime become known as eccentric hermits which are privy to secret or bizarre forms of magic no one has ever heard of.

Art by Markus Neidel

The link between human and troll-kind are creatures one would recognize as Ogres. These creatures are flesh and blood and mortal, but they share the unnatural vitality, size and appetite of their troll ancestors. Ogres tend to be much more 'human' than goblin-kind and perhaps a little too human. Ogres have a fairly nasty tendency to exhibit the worst qualities of humanity given unnatural power and appetite to grow. They tend to be particularly greedy, always hungry, prone to intense acts of violence and generally driven by raw hedonistic desire. This can make ogres decent mercenaries, however, since they can be easily controlled by giving them food, wine or women. Of course, control usually only last as long as one is able to keep the ogre content and the creature will generally either get bored, tired or fly into a rage if one cannot give the goods. The wyrds of ogre-kind are what is known as an Ogre Mage and everything previously outlined on the matter of wyrd applies. Approach with caution and expect the worst.

Orcs

Artist Unknown

While they may outwardly resemble goblins or trolls, in truth orcs are neither. Their creation is some lost myth (or not) and whatever version may survive is likely not the complete truth. It speak of ambitious, power hungry would-be demiurges who sought to create life and conquer all realms. Through some dark pacts with forgotten entities, they acquired the knowledge to create life itself so they may raise great armies to conquer all the known world. These creatures would be soldiers and workers, born and bred only to toil or to pillage for their dark master. Through a fusion of dark magic, blood, filth and more the orcs were born, cast from a mold of mud and bile.

Physically, most orcs are shorter than human (but not as short as goblin-kind) and are invariably hideous parodies of humanity whose small stature and twisted form belies surprising physical strength. The form they take and what deformities plague them vary from orc to orc but they common features include missing body parts or over exaggerated body parts, warty or slimy skin and a mouth full of crooked teeth. Some group of orcs may display common physical traits which physically mark them as member of a specific group but some groups may consist of entirely different orcish types. They have no parent, no children and no true biological sex and are instead born in 'batches' where orcs emerge from the same flesh-pit or slime field, fully grown as adults and ready to serve their dark master. These creatures, being a parody of life and humanity, lack a true soul; while they are intelligent, orcs lack the ability to develop anything beyond a facsimile of a particularly crass, violent and/or cowardly nature. Whatever inhabit the mind of an orc is not a true soul or conscience but some twisted thing perhaps ripped from the ether and infused into a puppet of filth and violence.

Many modern orc infestations were born of the hubris of lords of old who too sought to conquer but were constantly met with the limitations of a standing army. In their desire for power, many wicked individuals turned to magic to find a solution: first perhaps employing court or battle wizard or making pacts with fae. Yet the simplest solution is simply to create soldiers. Orcs are warriors devoid of conscience. Unfortunately for the world, many of them survived the wars they waged and, worse, in some parts of the world managed to go into hiding and slowly find ways to make more of their kind. A rare few orcs manage to acquire a soul by consuming it, fusing the true powers of a soul with their alien orc un-nature. Orcish soul-eaters are monsters who stand above their peer as black knights or would-be dark lords, eager to consume the flesh and soul of particularly strong or special individuals so they are able to fill their gullet with soul-stuff, enhancing their power and intellect.

Art by Anato Finnstark

Finally, even fouler are rumors of Orc-Men. Since orcs are sexless being, it seem somewhat ridiculous to think 'half orcs' could exist. Instead, Orc-Men are vile sorcerers and warlocks who seek to extend their natural lifespan by becoming more like the near-immortal orcs, slowly replacing more and more of their flesh and nature with the stuff of orc slime vats and flesh pits. While it is true the process can greatly extend one's lifespan, the cost of such a process is too much. Damnation is inevitable as humanity is slowly peeled and rots away. While in theory many of these Orc-Men could become great lords among the orcs, many of them eventually lose their identity and nature and degenerate, becoming no different than the baseline orcs.

Thoughts on the Monsters of Magic The Gathering

In spite of how crappy the game has become in so many aspect over time, there is no denying there are aspects of Magic: The Gathering which remain quite fascinating, in spite of how much recent set and settings/planes show that the game is way past its prime when it come to interesting ideas. Yet hidden in the rehashes and lack of ambition there are still monsters which are interesting. Many of these creatures exist either on a scant few cards or as a larger established creature that still has untapped potential. Now some of these I will skip, especially many of the Iconic/Characteristic creatures (such as Angel, Demons, Goblins or Elves) since I don't have anything interesting to say about them or they are established fantasy staples. Other are stranger, more nebulous and despite being established in some capacity across the lore of the multiverse they just haven't gotten their chance to shine.

Archons

Archon of Falling Stars by Victor Adame Minguez

The word Archon is one which I find mainstream D&D has always mistreated. The word Archon means 'ruler' in Ancient Greek and this has powerful connotations yet mainstream D&D has treated them as a fairly bland and interchangeable flavor of Celestials (lets face it, D&D Celestials fucking sucks!). In Magic, however, Archons are creatures of White mana which seem to embody the more Lawful aspect of the color. They are creatures of celestial might, wrath and most importantly of order. Archons in my opinion offer an interesting design space for a glowing, celestial being that is most definitely not one of our modern definitions of good, but rather closer to Old Testament or Pagan sense of judgment and wrath. Physically, Archons appear as luminous beings on a (usually) flying mount and they lack faces, either because it is obscured by their hood or helmet or flat out because it lacks one period.

So far, Archons have appeared a few times in Dungeons & Dragon 5th edition which can give us some limited insight into how they would function and behave as a monster beyond the scope of a playing card. Archons are (usually) resistant or flat out immune to radiant and mental effects as well as non-magical weapons. They are either fused or bonded with their flying mount and they all have some sort of compelling/control spell or a geas. Their thematic as axiomatic beings of celestial/cosmic law with power over mortals is thus well covered by their mechanics which I think make them solid monster and their varied choice of weapons (spear, swords or else) as well as suitably impressive mounts (winged lions, bulls or anything else such as a giant bird) make them quite awe inspiring. Perhaps the prevalance of flying beasts in a setting hint that, in ancient time, these were created and raised to serve as mounts to the ancient Archons? In addition, one interesting and often overlooked aspect of Archons is they are the White counterpart to the Specter type, at least visually.

• Archons as rulers of ancient humans and establishing civilization, bringing order from chaos, make for an interesting setting role especially since this can be both positive and negative depending on many factors. While an Archon brings about order, they might also be seen as little more than glorified tyrants.
• In addition to this, Archon make for a suitably varied and interesting replacement for the much more boring and specific Modrons and Inevitables, which are these days very much associated with the major mainstream D&D settings. Not only that, but Archons embody a different type of cosmic law, which is to say order, rulership or even tyranny as opposed to cold mechanical logic.

Baloths

Leatherback Baloth by Dave Kendall

I love Baloth, even if they admittedly aren't very interesting. Now technically 'Baloth' is not a distinct creature type as cards named Baloths are classified under the Beast creature type. Visually, a Baloth is a big pseudo reptilian monster, usually covered in spikes, horns and/or armored plates, however Baloth from Zendikar have hooves and resemble more creatures such as rhinoceros. It is possible that they aren't purely reptilian as infant Baloths are called 'pups' but this could also mean nothing. Baloths are huge, dumb and destructive monsters with a particularly huge appetite. In fact, its the flavor text of Enormous Baloth, in the first MTG starter set I bought, that immediately jumped to me:

"Its diet consists of fruits, plants, small woodland animals, large woodland animals, woodlands, fruit groves, fruit farmers, and small cities."

Baloth, to put it bluntly are very much mini-kaijus and sometimes you don't really need more in a monster. Their key, nay, only motivation is hunger. Baloths are very, very hungry creatures and this all consuming hunger make them omnivorous. This could open up some interesting adventures, as it is likely that magic items eaten by these monsters are simply swallowed whole and left to fester inside the monster's gut. Baloth, in my opinion, are a good monster that walks a fine line between plausible and magical, such as the owlbear. Interestingly, they appear to be something that can be tamed by druids. Interesting tidbit, there!

• Baloth make excellent random encounter monsters. However, it is very likely that astute characters might be able to guess they are in the territory of one as basically everything has been eaten, with truly massive specimen eating even entire woodlands.
• Baloth are nearly exclusively Green creatures and spellcasters of Green mana are usually classified as Druids. As pointed out above, it is very likely that Druids can tame lesser baloth and use them as guard animals, mount or even some sort of terror weapon against their enemies. A druid controlling a rampaging horde of Baloths could easily destroy an entire region in days. Baloth can also be made into undead.
• What use could players have for a dead Baloth? Quite, a few things, actually. Baloth are massive, presumably the smallest adult Baloths would be Large-sized in modern D&D. Their meat and hide may have good enough value; non-magical use might simply be to make super tough leather and scale armor while those used as reagent for magic potions could likely be used to make potions which temporary boost strength or size.

Specters

Abyssal Specter by 'Daarken'

Let's face it, these guys are pretty much a riff on the Nazgûl of the Tolkien legendarium. Mind you there is nothing wrong with that, as the Ringwraiths are iconic monsters of fantasy yet we don't really see much creatures which carry the legacy of terror these creatures once inspired. Physically they are, as pointed above, a dark mirror to the Archons or rather from a real life chronology the Archons are the light mirror to the Specters. Unlike Archons, however, Specters are definitely of human origin rather than some being born of mana and as such as Undead. Beyond that we know very little as only a few Specters have 'flavor text' which speak of their nature and isn't entirely plane-specific.

Specters as depicted in Magic, in my opinion, make for a much better Wraith than those usually depicted in D&D. Their flying mount are way more impressive than just being some flying blob of darkness. Assuming they share mechanical similarities to the Archons when it come to their mount bond, it open up some interesting ideas. Finally, Specters are infamous for their 'deal damage, discard a card' effect which clearly represent them draining mental abilities from the target which is likely carried by any weapon they use as well as the claws or beak of their mount. In a high power game where players have access to flight, Specters make for a great and dangerous airborne encounter. Given the association of Discard mechanics with madness or mental attacks, the Specters abilities to cause discard and Undead nature it might be possible that Specters are the undead form of powerful beings driven to madness. This, at the very least, is part of their lore Ravnica but, again, hard to say beyond that plane. Perhaps, then, their 'mount' is a part of their psyche which is dissociated with them. The two serve the same goals but have different personalities which could cause Specters to have rein in their overly eager or even sluggish mounts. One mind, but two personalities and attention spans, perhaps? Finally unlike Shades, very few Specters have any evasion abilities which make me believe they are at least primarily corporeal despite their name.

• Specters can work both as major antagonist in their own right or as minions. However, as a creature type in Magic they are somewhat lacking in Legendary Creatures; there is not a single (as of this post) Legendary Specter. This is a bit of a disappointing oversight or, perhaps, it may hint that these creatures are invariably minions, albeit powerful ones. This certainly ties back into their Ringwraith inspiration, even if I'd argue the Ringwraiths would certainly fit the bill as Legendary Creatures.
• Fighting a Specter is never going to be fun, as their iconic discard ability very clearly represent some form of mental attack. This make Specters a strong contender, among MTG's creatures, as being quite strongly tied to the iconic level drain (or their counterpart in later editions). At the very least, all Specter should have some mean of draining mental stats and/or the ability to disrupt a spellcaster's abilities, possibly making them empty their spell slot!